function fish_greeting -d "Greeting message on shell session start up" do_greeting (random choice lambda_greeting dwarf1_greeting dwarf2_greeting dwarf3_greeting kryten_greeting) set_color grey echo Smoke me a kipper, (whoami), I\'ll be back for breakfast! date set_color normal end function do_greeting echo "" eval $argv echo "" set_color normal end function lambda_greeting set_color normal echo -en " we \n" echo -en " did " set_color blue echo -en " λ f. (λ x. f x x) (λ x. f x x) → \n" set_color normal echo -en " it for " set_color blue echo -en " f (λ f. (λ x. f x x) (λ x. f x x))\n" set_color normal echo -en " the λulz \n" end function dwarf1_greeting set_color red echo -en " .-.\n" echo -en " -\" .\n" echo -en " .\" '\n" echo -en " __.__ __ '\n" echo -en " |_:|_'|':\n" echo -en " |\_|_.|_:" set_color grey echo -en " Call it extreme if you like, but I propose we hit it hard and\n" set_color red echo -en " __/_ _ _ __ __\\" set_color grey echo -en " hit it fast with a major - and I mean major - leaflet campaign.\n" set_color red echo -en " | :| ||_||_:|_'\n" echo -en " |_:|/\|| ||\_|\n" echo -en " / .'\n" echo -en " : -\n" echo -en " \"_-' \n" end function kryten_greeting set_color normal echo -en " _--~~--_\n" echo -en "\"Smeee- |\ /|\n" echo -en " Heeee!\" | \ / |\n" echo -en " i.--`..'--.i\n" echo -en " \\~* || *~// \n" echo -en " |\^([])^/|\n" echo -en " '.(-__-).'\n" echo -en " |`.__.'|\n" echo -en " .-~\____`------'____/~-.\n" echo -en " / _-~MMMM`------'MMMM~-_ \\n" echo -en " 'T~MMMM/##--_.._--##\MMMM~T'\n" echo -en " |\MMMM/%%%%%%||%%%%%%\MMMM/|\n" echo -en " |=|MM|`:%%%%%||%%%%%;'|MM|=|\n" echo -en " |=|MM|\ `.===!!===.' /|MM|=|\n" echo -en " |=|MM||W\ _--_ /W||MM|=| \n" echo -en " |/MMM||WW|,'_--_`.|WW||MMM\|\n" echo -en " |MMM||WW/.' `.\WW||MMM|\n" echo -en " |\MMM||WW|| ||WW||MMM/|\n" echo -en " |=|MM||WW\`. ,'/WW||MM|=|\n" echo -en " |/MMM||WWW`.~--~,'WWW||MMM\| \n" echo -en " `:;;'\WWWWW~--~WWWWW/`:;;'\n" echo -en " | U '.`------------',' U |\n" echo -en " i111\J L ]| | L ] L/|||i\n" echo -en " U111 | ~--_L____--~ | |||U\n" echo -en " UJJ |MMMMMM/\MMMMMM| UJJ\n" echo -en " |\MM\n" end function dwarf2_greeting echo -en " I knew I was lying. ,--------.\n" echo -en " No silicon heaven? Preposterous! ,' /.| /\n" echo -en " Where would all the calculators go? ,' || /\n" echo -en " \ || /\n" echo -en " \_____---. _---.\n" echo -en " .--~~~ ---:,' / \\n" echo -en " ._--~~~--_. ,' ---: | |\n" echo -en " _--~~~--_ ,' | : `. / __---~~~~~---'`. \ /\n" echo -en " ,:_ ; `._/ | . : ..\--~~ ; |__~---`\n" echo -en " // ~~-_. ; \= '---'..: i STARBUG 1 ; : \\n" echo -en "i '~~~~~~' ; i= |..... ; :...i\n" echo -en "| :: ; |=........ : ; : |\n" echo -en "`. :: ;### != : | : ; |\n" echo -en " \) ; /= : ! :.. _---_ | \n" echo -en " `. 0 _--_ ,'~\ :=====;: / / \ .!\n" echo -en " ~--/ \ `.`.___|: ,: | | ,'/\n" echo -en " \_--_/ `~--___--~' \ \_---_/ / /\n" echo -en " \,./ `. :::\ / /,'\n" echo -en " | | `-_. | | ,_-'\n" echo -en " ||: ~~~( |'~\n" echo -en " ||: | |\n" echo -en " ||' | |\n" echo -en " '\"~~~\"` '\"~~~\"` \n" end function dwarf3_greeting set_color grey echo -en "Arnold Rimmer, Technician, 2nd Class.\nCaptain's remarks: \"There's a saying amongst the officers: If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well. If it's not worth doing, give it to Rimmer.\"\n\n" set_color normal echo " .|\\ .-:." echo " / / '._____/ / '. : ." echo " . . ________/ / '.__/ / '. : .:'" echo " .-'-. | -----/_/_/_/ /'-. ',='--. ': .:'" echo " _ .----\"\"\"\"\"\"-^-^--' () __ = / '-._ '.==='-. :====.__.:'" echo " .'_/ = _ = .-. = /\"\"/ /_/ /\"\"/ /\"'---._ '--u_:.====\"| __: :'\\" echo " .'.'/ / / / / /__/ = /__/ /_/'.-.' '. . . -.-.:|<:::::' \\" echo " ..' / \"\" '\"'= // = / \"\"\"----' . (. ' ./#|######'\\ \\" echo "..--/ = = = = = / . __ ' /##.'#######\\\\ \\" echo "|| (-----------------------------------(--------.___._ ( ;###|#########)---->-\"\"\"\"" echo "'' \\ _--.-.. __ = = \\ __ ___'\"\"\"-(---\"\\########// /" echo " ''.-\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ '\\' .-------._____. ' \\ \"\\\\\"\" \\\\###\\######// /" echo " '.'.\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ '\\' \\ \\ \\ \\ \\\\ ' .- \"\"'' \"\" \\\\.-.\\---='/ /" echo " '._\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ '\\' \\ \\ \\ \\ \\\\ = ' \\\"\"'-\\\".-7-. \"\\\"\" /-._/" echo " '-^-\\_\\__\\ '\\' \\ \\ \\ \\ \\\\ ' .' .---\"\"\"\"\"(__ \"-_\\__---\"\"--." echo " \"\"\"\"\"\"\"\"--^---^___\\___\\\\ :._____------\"\"\"\"\"\"\"\" \"-_ \"" end